28.11.08

MEME please

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names): Mary Edwards
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad): Raymond Lincoln
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name): Grlynn
4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Red Penguin
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live): Rae Kansas
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “THE” to the beginning):The Black Champagne
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Lyen
8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Chocolate Snickerdoodle
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet’s name, current street name): Diesel Campbell
10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on): Lady South
I would like to give credit to all I poached one of my favorite bloggsters http://hipsubwg.blogspot.com/
who poached it fromhttp://averagejane.blogs.com/average_jane/2008/11/the-many-names-of-average-jane.html
who poached from http://stupidevilbastard.com/index/seb/comments/lets_do_a_meme_your_other_names/
who poached from http://www.hill-kleerup.org/blog/2008/11/24/naming_names_2.html
last but not least who poached from http://trishdoller.blogspot.com/2008/11/do-re-meme.html

thank you all for passing this MEME along for those 3 people who read this very infrequent blogger please pass it on.. :)

24.11.08

Holiday Time!

Yeah, its time for the wishing of happy holidays and getting fat eating lots of turkey and pies. For myself, I can't stand the holidays except for being with my wonderful family. What I can't stand is the working at holiday time. The people who love to leave their brains at home when they shop for their little families. Oh My Gawd, where do people keep their brains when they Christmas shop. Damn, I think they just walk up and hand their brains to a total idiot at the door and then go and try to shop. May I say the operative word is TRY ..

My theory is that the Big box at the front of most stores is the Toys for Tots campaign. It's actually not for toys per say; it's for all the adult brains. For all the thinking abilities that are inherent are dropped in this box for the future use of children. Hence when older adults get those 'childlike' emotions again. They went and dipped in to the toys for tots box at the front of the stores.

So, just remember don't check your brain at the door of a department store. You may not get yours back.

BE CAREFUL - BE SAFE - BE HAPPY

Here ya go.

19.11.08

Who are These People?

I am sure you have gotten many of these type of e-mails in months,years decades *almost* past. But I have to ask Who are these people? Why, oh why do they think that people are SO gullible to think that this will be the great get rich quick program. In the last few months I have received many many many of these stupid e-mails. Here are a few--- bad grammar and all. Please forgive the spelling in e-mails listed below I just thought I would leave them the way I received them.

PLEASE HELP ME

Dear Sir/Madam
I presume this letter will come to you as a suprise,but as things unfold, we
will know each other better and how I got your contact.I will start by
introducing myself to you, I am Mrs Mary Obasaki,the wife of Chief Jackson
Gaius Ibe, the Group Managing Director and Chief Executive of Nigeria
National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).I am very sure that you will be of a
good assistance after carefully reading my letter. For many years of
marriage now between me and my husband,I have not given birth,and this has
really troubled my husband.This is as a result of so much respect attached
to local Tradition Culture and Custom in there community, so my husband has
decided to break the marriage. In short to be sincere and honest with
you,with the present situation of things now,my matrimonial home look broken.

I am being treaten daily by my susposed legitmate husband to get me out from
the home.My husband parents and brothers are not left out in this
matter.This situation has really affected me psychologically,most of the
time I am in the church to pray and rest myself,because there is no room for
rest in my own home again.As I am writing to you now,I am no longer assured
of a matrmonial home, hence I seek your urgent assistance and help me
out,which I know it will go a long way in geting me settled down finally.I
want to use this opportunity,since my husband has abandoned me because of
childlessness,to move the $20 million us dollars into your custody for safe
keeping,pending my arrival in your country.Be informed that this said amount
was given to my husband as gratification from some foreign oil companies he
helpede in securing Allocation for the Drilling of Crude Oil in Nigeria.As a
civil servant he does not want to be esposed,so he gave me this money to
keep in my personal account,this was when the going was okay between us,so
that he can exonerate himself from the eyes of Government security
operatives and the civil ervice mission(CSC)which is the body that
scrutinizes the activities of all civil servants in Nigeria as checks and
balances for official misconduct.

To be sincere and honest with you,this money is never connected with
drugs,money laundry,firearms and looting,which I beleive might put fears in
you andconsequently withdrawing your help for security reasons.Hence the
source of this said money is clean and clear.This money was deposited in my
personal Domicillary Account and I have discussed with the bank manager who
is very close to me,my intention to transfer the money out of Nigeria and he
promise to render to me all the assistance I needed to transfer the money
out of Nigeria.All I need now is for you to send me your bank account and
other informations,to enable my bank apply for foreign exchange at the
Federal Ministry of Finance with your name as the beneficiary of the
fund.This is how my bank has planned it,to avoid any suspicion from our apex
bank.Be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free and my husband
will not raise any alarm,because he will not like to put himself and his
position in {NNPC} in jeopardy,and if he does,he stands to loose his job. As
soon as I receive your response and your willingness to help as regards to
this,I will furnish you on the next line of action to act ely.Note,as soon
as the money is successfully transfered into your account,I will start
coming to meet you in your country.I promise to mpensate you very well at
the successful end,this is the guranttee I am giving you from my heart of
heart.Be informed according to my bank ,this transaction will not last more
than 7 bank working days and it will be concluded because every
necessary/vital arrangements has put in place,i will be highly appreciated
by me.Thanks and God bless your family.

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs Mary obasaki.



From: Mr Peter Hamadan
E-MAIL: hamadanpeter102@gmail.com


I am a treasury manager of a well known bank here in South Africa. I have a concealed business suggestion for us to do. We had a client named MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany. He was a contractor and an arms dealer to The south african national Government. He made several deposits (fixed) with our treasury department amounting to $15.5million upon maturity, several notices where sent to him but we never got a response untill we discovered that he and his entire family died in an air crash in the year 2000. Below is a website which I will appreciate you going through to read the information.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since then nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money because he has no family members who are aware of the existence of neither the account nor the funds. I have secretly discussed this matter with a senior manager with us and we have agreed to find a reliable foreign partner to deal with us although due to his position he did not want to take active part but as soon as you follow my instructions everything will be successful because we will be working hand in hand with him. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that we would like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to the late Adndreas Schranner so you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE?

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted someone in the South African department of Justice who will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Mr. Adndreas Schranner. All that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names, Address and contact telephone number so that the person who will handle the title documents can commence his job. As soon as this is done a letter of probate/Administration will be issued in your favor for
Making you the Administrator of the late Mr. Adndreas Schranner's Estate and with this you can make application for the release of the funds with our Bank to you.


There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going adopt legal methods in applying for the release of the funds to you. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters
Concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 60% for me, 35% for you and 5% for any expenses incurred during the course of this Transaction. Should you be interested please send me your private phone and fax numbers for easy communication, you can write me via my private email address and I will provide you with more details of this operation. Your prompt response to this letter will be
appreciated.

Kindly send your reply to:
hamadanpeter102@gmail.com

Kind Regards,
Mr. Peter Hamadan.


CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
Office of Governor Central Bank of Nigeria
Co-operate Head Quarter Wuse II Garki Abuja Nigeria.
From The Desk Of Prof. Charles C. Soludo
Our Ref: CBN/FCS/CBX/010/08

RE: IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT

Attention: Unpaid Contractor/ Inheritance.

The Senate Committee On Local and Foreign Debt has reviewed your claim of an inherited fund of your late relative, following this we have approved a part payment of this fund, in accordance with the provision c702 as contained in the policy thrust of budget 2008 regarding the payment of foreign contractors fund has been regularized, and immediate payment schedule has been instructed. You have to know that the Senate Committee On Local and Foreign Debt has retrieved all unclaimed funds from offshore/onshore Banks, after the meeting we held with The President of Federal Republic of Nigeria, Chief Umaru Yar'Adua(GCFR) over the delayed payment to rightful claimants like you, to receive your fund, the Senate Committee have up-hold all inherited fund retrieved from various banks to ensure successful payment to all bona-fide claimants.

Your name was among the eighteen (5) CLAIMANTS who has been approved for their payment to be released and the fund would be wired to their respective accounts please also note that from the record in Federal Government DATABASE your outstanding contract payment is $30.000.000.00 (Thirty Million dollars). But you will only receive the sum of US$10,000,000.00 Million Dollars (TEN MILLION, United States Dollars). So that I will be able to pay other contractors, Federal Government of Nigeria has promise the remaining balance of your payment will be released to you in first quarter of next year 2009.

Based on petitions by contractors on sundry sharp practices in various government parastatals and departments, bothering on contract payment delay, breach of contract agreements, and corruption in official circles, the presidency in conjunction with the office of the senate presidency with financial aids and assistance from the following International organization; World Bank, African Development Bank, The United Nation and the European Union to set up this committee to scrutinize, verify, review, cancel or approve where necessary, all outstanding payments due and payable as at this Second Quarter of the year 2008 beginning from April 01 2008.


Kindly provide us with below information:

(1) Your Full Name
(2) Contact Home Address
(3) Phone Number
(4) Mobile Number
(5) Fax Number
(8) Occupation



Above information is needed to avoid wrong sending of your payment to wrong Associates. Importantly, kindly contact this office for the effective release of your outstanding contract payment. For immediate instruction on receiving your payment.

The Federal Government of Nigeria has put a new law to stop fraudulent practices. You are needed to respond urgently to enable us to release your payment; you are given 10 official working days to respond to this mail.

Yours faithfully.
PROF. CHARLES C. SOLUDO
GOVERNOR, CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA


Here is one of my favorites....


ROBERT MUELLER III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
Email: securitywatch@fed-bureau-investigations.org
FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET


ATTENTION:

We believe this notification meets you in a very good present state of mind and health. The Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington, DC in conjunction with some other relevant Investigation Agencies here in the United states of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regards to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly. We will find a way to fix a schedule for you to come to our head-quarter in Washington DC to enable us advise you on what to do, but meanwhile you are further advised to be contacting us via email for now because we are having various investigations that we are working on now. Keep everything regarding to your transaction confidential for security reasons and note that we have not informed the local FBI department in your state regarding this matter because we want to keep everything secret until your fund is been transferred to you accordingly.

It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay. Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Central Bank office accordingly as we will be monitoring all their services with you as well as your correspondence at all level.

In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Prof. Chukwuma Soludo and Mr. Kingsley Agwor along with some of the top officials of the Ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending on when you personally come for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the Central Bank office.

We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight million united states dollars), but the Central Bank office did the wise thing by insisting on hearing from you personally before the go ahead on wiring your fund to the Bank information’s which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that was the main reason why they contacted us so as to assist them in making the investigations. They further informed us that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of the contract payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to these irregularities so that they don't fall victim to this ugly circumstance. And should in case you are already dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria, you are further advised to STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact immediately the real office of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below information’s accordingly:


NAME: MR. KINGSLEY AGWOR

OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria, Central Business
District,Cadastral Zone, Abuja,
Federal Capital Territory,
Nigeria.

TEL: +234-8079-322-190
+234-1221-5892

Email: kagwor@yahoo.com


NOTE:
In your best interest, any message that doesn't come from the above official email address and phone numbers should not be replied to and should be disregarded accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the Central Bank office immediately with the above email address and request that they attend to you payment file as directed so as to enable you receive your contract fund accordingly.

Ensure you follow all their procedure as may be required by them as that will further help hasten up the whole procedures as regards to the transfer of your fund to you as designated. Also have in mind that the Central Bank of Nigeria equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking terms, so delay could be very dangerous. Once again, we will advise that you contact them with the above email address and make sure you forward to them all the necessary information’s which they may require from you prior to the release of your fund to you accordingly.

All modalities has already been worked out even before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don't have anything to worry about. All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time, will want you to contact them immediately with the above email address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out. Should in case you need any more information’s in regards to this notification, feel free to get back to us so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your contract fund as stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.


Best Regards,

Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.
20535-0001, USA
Email: securitywatch@fed-bureau-investigations.org

and this one is from FedEx-----


Customer Service:

Dear Customer,

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Package that is been
registered with us for shipping to your residential location. We had thought
that your sender gave you our contact details. It may interest you to
know that a letter is also added to your package. However, we cannot quote its
content to you via email for privacy reasons. We understand that the
content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of $800,000.00 Eight
Hundred Thousand US
Dollars). As you know, FedEx does not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES
but BANK DRAFTS are shippable. The package is registered with us for
mailing by your colleague as claimed, and your colleague explained that he is
from the United
States but he is here in Nigeria for a three (3) month Survey Project as he
works with a construction firm in Nigeria West Africa. We are sending you this
email because your package is been registered on a Special Order. What
you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for immed
iate dispatch of your package to your residential address. Note that
as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your information, it will take three (3)
working days (72Hrs) for your package to arrive its designated destination.

For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees
have been paid by your colleague before your package was registered. Note that
the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance
Certificates, are to certify that the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund
(DAF) neither is it funds to sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help
you avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country.
However, you will have to pay a sum of ?100 GBP which is equivalent to $200
USD to the FedEx Delivery Department being full payment for the Security
Keeping Fee of the FedEx Company as stated in our privacy terms & condition
page. Also be informed that your colleague wished to pay for the Security
Keeping charges, but we do not accept such payments considering the fact that
all items & packages that is registered with us have a time limitation and
we cannot accept payment without knowing when you will be picking up the
package or even respond to us. So we cannot take the risk to have
accepted such a payment incase of any possible demurrage. Kindly note that
your colleague did
not leave us with any further information. We hope that you respond to
us as soon as possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry date
of the foremost
package, we may refer the package to the British Commission for Welfare as the
package do not have a return address. Kindly contact the delivery department
(FedEx Delivery Post) with the details given below:

Contact Person: Mr. Harry Thomas.
Email: agentharrythomas@gmail.com


Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email address given above..
This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone numbers.

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the
necessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment for the
Security Keeping Fees. As soon as they confirm your payment of ?100
GBP which is equivalent to $200 USD, they shall immediately dispatch your
package to the
designated address. It usually takes 72 Hours being an express delivery
service. Note that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high
priority of your package we had to inform you as your sender did not leave us
with his phone number because he stated that he just arrived England
and he was not on phone yet. We indeed personally sealed your Bank
Draft and we found your email contact in the attached letter as the recipient
of
the foremost package. Ensure to contact the delivery department with the
email address and ensure to fill the above form as well to enable successful
reconfirmation.

All responses must be forwarded to: agentharrythomas@gmail.com

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Margaret Blaire.
FedEx Online Management Team.
All rights reserved.1995-2008 FedEx.
Why do they think the "normal american" is so stupid to think that this is the way to get a substantial amount of money relativly for free???